2012年1月20日星期五
2012年1月17日星期二
Mgła
Groza I
Between the grey pillars of conscience the path to truth narrows.
The burden of Aksios leaking through open wounds.
Lo and behold: the finely crafted,
Precise mechanism of sheep and scapegoat.
Relative within the borders of universal logic.
Collective confidence in moral permanency.
The lowest common denominator is crowned.
Standpoints are chosen over general reason.
Stars allocated to every man and woman.
Fair measure of futile love and will.
Fortresses of blissful unconsciousness.
Anywhere between Aquinas and Descartes.
Blazing a trail as shown, as told, over the exact same traces.
Crawling in circles with face in dirt and spirit skyhigh.
The destroyer of hope. King of rust and wreck.
Contract & detract.
Harbinger of havoc. Wreaker of rule.
Truth becomes lie and lie becomes truth.
Here, in fact, we may be in the presence of one of the most necessary of all Devils:
the Ecumenical Unifier, champion of all efforts to remove invidious distinctions
between nature and nurture, body and spirit, interdiction and impulse, time and
eternity, individual and community, male and female, Hell and Heaven-and
ultimately, of course, between man and God.
真理之路, 在良知的灰色立柱间愈行愈窄.
敞开的伤口溢出Aksios的重负.*
看哪--
顺徒以及替罪羊的精密机械, 结构及其精美.
限定在普遍逻辑边界
在恒定道德指标上搜集信心.
最小公分母被加冕
立场由公共理由择取
奖赏分配给每一个人
徒劳的爱与意愿所采用的公平分配法.
幸福的无意识壁垒.
阿奎那与笛卡尔间的任意一点.
根据被告知与展示的方法冲往同一条路
重蹈覆辙的人们, 面朝泥地却心智高昂.
希望的毁灭者. 腐朽与毁坏的君主.
约定与毁约.
大破坏的预告者. 律法的破坏者.
真相与谎言颠倒.
实际上, 目前我们正面对一切魔鬼中最有必要出现的那一个: 全统者.
在一切方面上, 包括在自然与干预间, 肉体与精神间, 禁止与冲动间, 时间与永恒间, 个体与社会间, 男人与女人间, 地狱与天堂间--
而最终, 当然是在人与神之间--
消除令人反感的差异.
* 谁?
Mdłości I
Through the fields of scars and wounds
Shining with dim light of non-existence
What tranquility! What sweet peace! What inward serenity!
What supreme felicity and earnest of bliss!
To reach beyond the web of spiritual deceit
That mankind has been weaving for millennia
And face the most horrible truth of all
Every single dream shattered, trampled and lost
Every single word silenced for ever, and evermore
Descent, regress into prime, hideous, beautiful nothingness
累累伤痕的表面
闪烁乌有的微光.
何等沉静! 何等甜蜜的平和! 何等内在的安宁!
何等至幸, 真挚的赐福!
越过人类编制了数以千年的精神欺瞒之网
面对世间最为骇人的真相.
一切梦想, 均遭粉碎, 践踏, 最终失落.
一切话语, 终归永恒的, 万劫不复的寂静.
反向退归原初的, 恐怖又美丽的, 虚无.
2012年1月15日星期日
2012年1月13日星期五
Abyssic Hate - Suicidal Emotions
Abyssic Hate - Suicidal Emotions
自杀情绪
粗糙重译. 多年之后感...感什么呢?
1. Depression - Part I
抑郁 - 第一部分
Far beyond the walls of all safety in a land
Disgusting as the highest of God's heavens
Starved hands keep appearing - clawing
Tearing shreds out of the flesh and mind
远离一切安全壁垒
犹如置身神的国度--令人作呕.
无数只空手不懈刨抓, 将灵与肉撕成碎片--
无止无尽, 挥之不去.
And as the sands crawl their unchanging path
All means seemingly focus towards the end
There is no reason to live anymore when the reason cannot be attained
当时间之沙继续缓缓淌过一成不变的道路
每条路似乎只指向结束.
没有相应的目的, 也就没有存活的理由.
But the solace lay beyond the darkness
In a land where light and life dwell
Yet soon will come death and the numbing fires
Only then will my mind lie to rest
但慰藉只存在于黑暗之外.
那里, 充满生命与光明.
但死亡就快要降临, 令人麻木的火焰, 就要将人吞噬.
只有在那时, 我的心智才能获得安宁.
For I am alone on this world
Enslaved and surrounded by the living dead
Yet still I stand tall as I bleed
Deep from within the cuts upon my skin
只因在这世上, 我孑然一身
被活死人包围与奴役.
但我却高傲地站立着
即便鲜血自深深的伤口中流淌而出.
2. Betrayed
背叛
My darkest fears have become a frightening truth
And the wounds are hidden so you cannot feel the pain
For I have chosen the path of misery and sorrow
And my skin will continue to wither and decay
我最深的恐惧已变成可怖的现实.
但看不到伤痕, 也就无法感知痛苦.
我选择的这条路必然充满辛酸与悲哀.
即便肉体不断衰弱老朽也不会改变.
Happiness - where are you?
Will this grief be swept away?
快乐, 你在哪里?
这样的悲痛是否永无法抹去?
This madness must stop or this world I'll depart
As reality blends into horrific dreams
My departure from Earth is getting near
And as I approach death, I'll show no fear
让这荒谬的世界终止吧--否则不如我先行退出.
当现实与恐怖的幻境相融
我离开尘世的日子也就临近.
迎向死亡时, 我将毫无畏惧.
I need you here to ease this pain
For I fear it shall never dissipate
Yet you are so far away and the blood continues to flow
我需要你来结束痛苦
实际上它是会永远存在在那里的.
但你却显得遥不可及--只能静待鲜血继续流淌.
I felt your warmth - I can't touch your skin
Remembering, as the knife caresses my flesh
And I summon forth suffering and despair
Yet it is something I do not wish to do
能感觉你的暖意却无法触及.
还记得刀锋触经皮肤时唤起的痛苦与绝望.
但其实这不是我的本意.
My blood absorbs the poisons
Drugged, confused - the walls enclose around me
My mind is so high - my spirit continues to fall
我的血液中充斥毒物
药物引发的混乱如高墙般将我隔绝.
心智跃入至高--精神坠入深渊.
And the anguish recedes as life slips away
Breathless, I beckon eternal sleep
For I shall live no more to be with you
As I see your face appear through the mist
生命消逝的一刻, 痛楚随之散去.
气息停止, 唤来永恒长眠.
我将在死亡中与你团聚.
透过迷雾我已能看到你的脸庞.
3. Depression - Part II
抑郁 - 第二部分
I think about life and feel pure hate about being trapped here on this earth
Envying all deceased souls who've passed on from this ruined plane
My dormant hours are filled with fear, my waking hours I will not face
All will to life has expired
I just want to fucking die!
回顾生命, 只觉彻底厌恶. 被迫永远被困在尘世.
嫉妒所有自这颗荒废的星球上故去的亡灵.
睡眠被恐怖充斥, 清醒的时刻又不愿面对.
支持我活下去的意愿已经全部无用.
我只想要死掉!
The thought of life reviving is nothing but pure illusion
This impulse to end my life keeps on echoing through my mind
什么死后世界不过是人的妄想.
结束生命的冲动, 一直在我脑中回荡.
Wishing that I had the strength to extinguish the whole of mankind
I know that this goal of mine will never ever be attained
I hate this fucking human race for what they have all done to me
Driven to this destructive state
Guided by insanity!
但愿我有消灭全人类的力量
但我深知, 这样的目标永远也无法达成.
多么痛恨人类. 他们对我, 对自己的同类犯下难以启齿的罪.
疯狂, 将我推向自我毁灭的境地!
The thought of life reviving is simply just pure illusion
This impulse to end my life keeps on echoing through my mind
什么死后世界都是人的妄想.
结束生命的冲动, 一直在我脑中回荡.
My cries for help have gone in vain
No need to endure this endless strain
My screams of pain seem devoid of sound
Comfort in death I now have found
我求助的呼救全无回应.
没必要忍受无尽的疲惫.
我痛苦的呼喊似乎全然无声.
但我已在死亡中找到慰藉.
Silently pondering... "Why do I continue on with this life?"
Silently wondering... "When I die, will anyone even notice my demise?"
默默思索, "我为什么继续活着?"
暗暗自问, "等我走后, 又有谁会注意到我的死亡?"
4. Despondency
沮丧
My visions are all clouded
I see nothing but red
判断力尽失.
我只能看到血色.
This hatred has now congealed to a near climatic state
Why do I remain here to weaken through the years?
I am so confused - my soul dies all the while
厌恨情绪冻结, 将大脑凝固.
为什么我还要留在这里, 任凭自己逐年衰弱老朽, 直至懦弱无能?
想不通--我的灵魂终究在迈向死亡.
I don't wish to co-exist with this feeble human race
I don't feel the need to be infected with the disease called "life"
我不想再与懦弱的人类共存.
没必要共染称作"生命"的疾病.
A state of mental grief causes my mind great pain
In this emotional state
I suffer from despondency
这种悲痛的精神状态, 给我的心智造成极大痛苦.
在这样的情绪状态下
深刻的沮丧将其他一切剥夺.
Violent and murderous thoughts
Form deep inside my mind
Dwelling on these sights to the point where I'm insane
Why do I remain alive when I only wish to die?
I am so distressed - my soul rots all the while
暴力与凶杀的想法
久居内心.
这种景象一次次再现, 挥之不去逼人发疯.
既然一直想死又为什么继续活着?
苦恼--我的灵魂终究在不断凋朽.
I'm surrounded by life-loving shapes that exist without a choice
Your fears of death are covered up by the words "Suicide is weak"
身边全是那些毫无选择地出生, 又对生命充满挚爱的个体.
你们对死亡的恐惧全部被一句"自杀不负责任"掩盖.
Released from the grip of life's burdening chains
My body devoid of blood and unable to embrace pain
自生命沉重的枷锁中解脱.
我失血的身体再也无法感触痛苦.
With death I'll grow in strength and might
Fading away without remorse
With death I'll leave this weakened earth
To become at one with the night
死亡会赐予我前所未有的力量.
毫无悔恨地消逝而去.
死亡会带我离开这个卑微存在.
与夜融为一体.
With death I'll grow in strength and might
Fading away without remorse
With death I'll leave this weakened earth
I am at one with the night
死亡会赐予我前所未有的力量.
毫无悔恨地消逝而去.
死亡会带我离开这个卑微存在.
与夜融为一体.
自杀情绪
粗糙重译. 多年之后感...感什么呢?
1. Depression - Part I
抑郁 - 第一部分
Far beyond the walls of all safety in a land
Disgusting as the highest of God's heavens
Starved hands keep appearing - clawing
Tearing shreds out of the flesh and mind
远离一切安全壁垒
犹如置身神的国度--令人作呕.
无数只空手不懈刨抓, 将灵与肉撕成碎片--
无止无尽, 挥之不去.
And as the sands crawl their unchanging path
All means seemingly focus towards the end
There is no reason to live anymore when the reason cannot be attained
当时间之沙继续缓缓淌过一成不变的道路
每条路似乎只指向结束.
没有相应的目的, 也就没有存活的理由.
But the solace lay beyond the darkness
In a land where light and life dwell
Yet soon will come death and the numbing fires
Only then will my mind lie to rest
但慰藉只存在于黑暗之外.
那里, 充满生命与光明.
但死亡就快要降临, 令人麻木的火焰, 就要将人吞噬.
只有在那时, 我的心智才能获得安宁.
For I am alone on this world
Enslaved and surrounded by the living dead
Yet still I stand tall as I bleed
Deep from within the cuts upon my skin
只因在这世上, 我孑然一身
被活死人包围与奴役.
但我却高傲地站立着
即便鲜血自深深的伤口中流淌而出.
2. Betrayed
背叛
My darkest fears have become a frightening truth
And the wounds are hidden so you cannot feel the pain
For I have chosen the path of misery and sorrow
And my skin will continue to wither and decay
我最深的恐惧已变成可怖的现实.
但看不到伤痕, 也就无法感知痛苦.
我选择的这条路必然充满辛酸与悲哀.
即便肉体不断衰弱老朽也不会改变.
Happiness - where are you?
Will this grief be swept away?
快乐, 你在哪里?
这样的悲痛是否永无法抹去?
This madness must stop or this world I'll depart
As reality blends into horrific dreams
My departure from Earth is getting near
And as I approach death, I'll show no fear
让这荒谬的世界终止吧--否则不如我先行退出.
当现实与恐怖的幻境相融
我离开尘世的日子也就临近.
迎向死亡时, 我将毫无畏惧.
I need you here to ease this pain
For I fear it shall never dissipate
Yet you are so far away and the blood continues to flow
我需要你来结束痛苦
实际上它是会永远存在在那里的.
但你却显得遥不可及--只能静待鲜血继续流淌.
I felt your warmth - I can't touch your skin
Remembering, as the knife caresses my flesh
And I summon forth suffering and despair
Yet it is something I do not wish to do
能感觉你的暖意却无法触及.
还记得刀锋触经皮肤时唤起的痛苦与绝望.
但其实这不是我的本意.
My blood absorbs the poisons
Drugged, confused - the walls enclose around me
My mind is so high - my spirit continues to fall
我的血液中充斥毒物
药物引发的混乱如高墙般将我隔绝.
心智跃入至高--精神坠入深渊.
And the anguish recedes as life slips away
Breathless, I beckon eternal sleep
For I shall live no more to be with you
As I see your face appear through the mist
生命消逝的一刻, 痛楚随之散去.
气息停止, 唤来永恒长眠.
我将在死亡中与你团聚.
透过迷雾我已能看到你的脸庞.
3. Depression - Part II
抑郁 - 第二部分
I think about life and feel pure hate about being trapped here on this earth
Envying all deceased souls who've passed on from this ruined plane
My dormant hours are filled with fear, my waking hours I will not face
All will to life has expired
I just want to fucking die!
回顾生命, 只觉彻底厌恶. 被迫永远被困在尘世.
嫉妒所有自这颗荒废的星球上故去的亡灵.
睡眠被恐怖充斥, 清醒的时刻又不愿面对.
支持我活下去的意愿已经全部无用.
我只想要死掉!
The thought of life reviving is nothing but pure illusion
This impulse to end my life keeps on echoing through my mind
什么死后世界不过是人的妄想.
结束生命的冲动, 一直在我脑中回荡.
Wishing that I had the strength to extinguish the whole of mankind
I know that this goal of mine will never ever be attained
I hate this fucking human race for what they have all done to me
Driven to this destructive state
Guided by insanity!
但愿我有消灭全人类的力量
但我深知, 这样的目标永远也无法达成.
多么痛恨人类. 他们对我, 对自己的同类犯下难以启齿的罪.
疯狂, 将我推向自我毁灭的境地!
The thought of life reviving is simply just pure illusion
This impulse to end my life keeps on echoing through my mind
什么死后世界都是人的妄想.
结束生命的冲动, 一直在我脑中回荡.
My cries for help have gone in vain
No need to endure this endless strain
My screams of pain seem devoid of sound
Comfort in death I now have found
我求助的呼救全无回应.
没必要忍受无尽的疲惫.
我痛苦的呼喊似乎全然无声.
但我已在死亡中找到慰藉.
Silently pondering... "Why do I continue on with this life?"
Silently wondering... "When I die, will anyone even notice my demise?"
默默思索, "我为什么继续活着?"
暗暗自问, "等我走后, 又有谁会注意到我的死亡?"
4. Despondency
沮丧
My visions are all clouded
I see nothing but red
判断力尽失.
我只能看到血色.
This hatred has now congealed to a near climatic state
Why do I remain here to weaken through the years?
I am so confused - my soul dies all the while
厌恨情绪冻结, 将大脑凝固.
为什么我还要留在这里, 任凭自己逐年衰弱老朽, 直至懦弱无能?
想不通--我的灵魂终究在迈向死亡.
I don't wish to co-exist with this feeble human race
I don't feel the need to be infected with the disease called "life"
我不想再与懦弱的人类共存.
没必要共染称作"生命"的疾病.
A state of mental grief causes my mind great pain
In this emotional state
I suffer from despondency
这种悲痛的精神状态, 给我的心智造成极大痛苦.
在这样的情绪状态下
深刻的沮丧将其他一切剥夺.
Violent and murderous thoughts
Form deep inside my mind
Dwelling on these sights to the point where I'm insane
Why do I remain alive when I only wish to die?
I am so distressed - my soul rots all the while
暴力与凶杀的想法
久居内心.
这种景象一次次再现, 挥之不去逼人发疯.
既然一直想死又为什么继续活着?
苦恼--我的灵魂终究在不断凋朽.
I'm surrounded by life-loving shapes that exist without a choice
Your fears of death are covered up by the words "Suicide is weak"
身边全是那些毫无选择地出生, 又对生命充满挚爱的个体.
你们对死亡的恐惧全部被一句"自杀不负责任"掩盖.
Released from the grip of life's burdening chains
My body devoid of blood and unable to embrace pain
自生命沉重的枷锁中解脱.
我失血的身体再也无法感触痛苦.
With death I'll grow in strength and might
Fading away without remorse
With death I'll leave this weakened earth
To become at one with the night
死亡会赐予我前所未有的力量.
毫无悔恨地消逝而去.
死亡会带我离开这个卑微存在.
与夜融为一体.
With death I'll grow in strength and might
Fading away without remorse
With death I'll leave this weakened earth
I am at one with the night
死亡会赐予我前所未有的力量.
毫无悔恨地消逝而去.
死亡会带我离开这个卑微存在.
与夜融为一体.
2012年1月1日星期日
一月一日
黑暗中无尽的未知. 如何将此感用语言表达? 有何悲痛不可化解, 有何恐惧不能明白? 无法视而不见, 又难以直视. 生命容许如此尺度. 多么难以言喻. 浩瀚未知近在咫尺. 悄无声息将一切知识扫尽.
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